So for the last couple months I have had people at work asking me questions about how long until I graduate. I even had one guy ask me the number of days. I really didn't want to think about it. 70, 60, 50 days, they all sound pretty long to me and I was WAY too preoccupied with thinking about what's going to happen AFTER graduation. Were we going to be missionaries? Are we going to move? Am I going to have to get a REAL job? And if so, where would that be? Do we want to start trying for children? Much too much for me to start counting down for things!
Well, I decided a couple days ago that graduating is kinda a big deal and I should probably know how long I had so that I would actually pay attention to buying announcements and crap like that and making sure my mom knew so she could plan my party! =-) So I added a wonderful countdown application to my igoogle homepage! and what does it say? It says I have 38 days until I graduate!!!! That is so nuts! I feel like I just started school and it's already over!
I thought I'd never make it. I was sure I'd find a reason to drop out like getting pregnant (even though I promised myself I wouldn't) and I've had to fight through watching friends (who weren't in school) get pregnant and move away and move on with their lives while I've been stuck here truckin' on trying to finish. And now what... now that it's here? I can't believe that there is a good possibility that in 38 days I will NEVER have homework again. What am I supposed to do with that? I've been a nerd my whole life, I don't know if I've ever NOT turned in an assignment. I just couldn't do it. And I've Always had some kind of homework. I don't think the summer will be so hard, but it's going to be really weird when everyone else goes back to school in August and I don't. I'm going to have to pick up some serious hobbies to fill the time!
Graduation means something else to me- being a real grown-up. Maybe that sounds weird... ok it does. I've been married, running a household, working, plus school for the last 3 years. I guess most would call that being an adult. But for some reason, graduation solidifies it. I have to go find a job, a 40 hr a week 9-5er! School was always my break from work and now I won't have that! I still don't really know what I want to do (probably because I really do just want to stay home with kids and home school and all that Jazz) but I'm going to have to figure it out because until Johnny figures out what he's doing and starts being able to support us, I'm probably going to have to work. Plus there is something seriously wrong with my career choices- when I think about where I want to work (probably because I don't want to work long), it's always places like Starbucks, restaurants, or fun little boutiques. Those are jobs for people in school, not those with a degree! Why can't I ever seem to think of really great offices or businesses? Maybe the typical business world just doesn't seem fun to me (could be why I got an entrepreneurial degree), but the things I am interested in won't make enough money right now to really sustain. oh well.
I'm a worrier. I know God tells us not to worry, that he loves us more than the flowers and birds that he takes care of, so He'll obviously take care of us. I know. Pray for that for me. It's my flesh that wants to worry- from experience I know that when I leave it in God's hands I have so much peace and freedom from the burden that is life. Knowing always that everything that happens to us works out for the good and His perfect purposes for our lives. It's just hard to remember that all the time. Thanks for listening to me vent! :-)
3 comments:
I'm glad you vented :) It answered some of my questions, like school, kids, jobs, etc... I had wondered if you guys had talked about kids and just what you were up to in general. I'll be praying for you guys!
Well now..You are Artistic..You are articulate..you are rather well organized and consistent..
You are faithfull and kind and above all Loved in sooo many ways..which means in otherwords...you have a tremendous Home Base..which allows you such freedowm..silly I know..for me to say that..but if everything is rather content in your home based life..You have the freedom and trust from loved ones and yourself to make a decision to be you..and do what YOU feel you are best at...if you know what you absolutely DO NOT want to do...thats a good thing also..take your time..the computer is an excellent tool to do research to help with your decision...as it will show you what jobs are available and in demand..paid well and all the new type jobs aside from the ones that where available only when I was younger..ie..secretary, nurse, and maid..but now the job situation has totally changed...you also can create your own job..write a business plan..and do something like that but the drawback is pay is not consistent...and insurance and medical benefits are certainly not sooo great..but you can do that aside..I was thinking of Nika..the woman who lives upstairs..a number of years ago she came up with a funny idea to her mom and they both started this business and they are well known in this area and actually accross Canada for this business..."Face Painting"...they are asked to many functions from large carnivals..Fairs...Launchings, birthdays, huge affairs..they are very busy winter and especially in the summer time...Nika has also graduated from Art school and does sell some of her artwork..but does much better with the facepainting and can be busy most everyday..and even travels to PEI (Anne of Green Gables home)to their summer festivals etc...and all this started with a funny idea..that took hold...there are many ideas out there..and I know you are so very very innovative..as is many others in your family..
"everyday is like Christmas, one never knows what wonderful little gift we will open next..somedays we get little lace hankies and other days a new pair of skates" one never knows..but I look forward to each and every day...and every days new ideas..so..the best to you my dear in all you do and ideas you have..I sooo look forward to hearing your day by day thoughts..
Hey lady, you could always sell your beautiful cakes! And I know what you mean about homework. I still don't know what to do with myself without it.
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